Gripen Cockpit

DPA

2009-06-20T18:06:00.000-07:00

Destruction
Pain
Anguish

Realisation

2009-06-06T00:07:00.000-07:00

I have realised how...fruitless life is.
Ofc, this is all a matter of perspective, I can pick out all the good stuff and go haha, that was worth it, or maybe life isn't too bad after all.

The bad stuff is...unquestionably real and presents itself right there in front of me. Can't be ignored at all. Fag.

Good thing: I have a lot of friends on which I can depend on and support me during not-so-good times.

Bad thing: The one person I'd like to be close to says "we've been friends too long and I don't wan2 risk it"

FFS this is the 3rd time hearing that and tbh I'm sick of it. Sigh...

But this time, its a bit different. Additional information suggested that everything is a lie with her...
Everything last year was a complete and utter lie, straight in my face, looking into my eyes.

Not many ppl know, but lying to me is something I cannot accept. People know I can tolerate a lot until a CERTAIN FUCKING point, and when reached, I will hate you for the rest of my life. Notice the FULLSTOP. Lying takes you straight to jail so to speak.

4 months of lies lies and more lies. False pretences, facades and flattery struck deep into my heart.

The problem is...because I like her...I cannot hate her...The hatred I have held for the people that just plainly pissed me off during my life...It's gone.

James Cho...Jeff Ma...They're not important anymore.

She was everything, the focal point and...she lied to me. All that time.

Treating her how she treated me...is that a good thing?? She now wants her friend back, and is asking why I hate her. I do not hate her...but wants her friend back?
The friend who always asked and got denied. The one who always texted first and got no reply.

I only play the fool once

Update

2009-02-05T23:04:00.000-08:00

Been...around 4 months since my last post.

Hmm. Nothing to write.

Nothing of any particular interest.

And another 4 months pass.

Of rest and relaxation.

Waste of time?

Not a single major accomplishment....except for the upcoming full license test??

Sigh

Indie Rock

2008-11-27T23:55:00.000-08:00

Why the hell do people like it??

It is the lowest form of music sitting on top of listening to a tone deaf 12 year old thinking she's alicia keys...

The. Worst. Ever.

You must be high on something pretty high quality if you like it.

Holidays

2008-11-25T03:38:00.000-08:00

Nothing numbs your noggin like the holidays....

No strenuous mental activity coupled with lazing around...

Bliss...

Papercut

2008-11-04T01:18:00.001-08:00

No, not the song.

FUCKING painful!!!
Like holy shit oh my freaking son of a mother fucking biatch painful!!!

It's cos signal transduction is incredibly fast, conducted by the C fibers (sharp pain) and continuously fires....Unlike chopping your arm off where the shock should decrease pain sensors firing and A-delta fibres firing (slow, dull pain)

I hate paper. It should burn

10점 만점에 10점

2008-10-03T02:15:00.000-07:00

그녀의 입술은 맛있어, 입술은 맛있어,
10점 만점에 10점~
그녀의 다리는 멌져, 다리는 멌져,
10점 만점에 10점~
그녀의 날리는 머릿결, 날리는 머릿결,
10점 만점에 10점~
그녀는 머리에서 발끝까지 모두다,
10점 만점에 10점!!

and thus the song goes.

I've been used and lied to. Betrayed? Nearly but not quite.
Fallen for something that only seeks to gain things and not return the favour...

But I am not hurt. There's a limit to how much a man's heart can break. Sadly I've reached it.

Dunedin is a small place. There are only so many attractive guys and girls.
Lets say the reserves are dry and we're on empty tanks. What now??

I have always needed a target, even an impossible target, just...a target. Somewhere to aim. Someone to be with. Morals dictate that that person is now off-limits.

The emptiness I felt for about 1 hour has now filled with realisation. The extent of the web of lies that I am strung up upon is a LOT bigger than I thought.

And who else but someone I trusted in? Someone I've leaned against during the hard times of 2006? Someone I've learned to be comfortable with?

But it doesn't hurt, I just feel like I have to get out of here, I need a change of scenery, I need a break from all of this.

Afghani's have a saying that loosely says: "Life goes on" which pretty much means "shit happens, get over it you pussy"

I get over things by leaning on other people. And sometimes I lend a shoulder for them to lean on. One of my biggest person to lean on has completely smacked me in the face. And even now tries to hide what I already know.

Why do people do this?? Am I not trustworthy? Do I talk about other people's secrets that much? What is it that they do not trust in me??

Misinterpretation

2008-09-20T04:09:00.000-07:00

If I could read the mind of people... Man that'd be cool. I wish I could...

However, we, the Homo sapien sapien (wise-wise-human - apparently wiser than the wise-human) have resorted to the simple act of speaking to communicate thoughts, beliefs, feelings, opinions etc.

There is an inherent problem here. What if the other person says the wrong thing? What if the other person does not convey the truth? What if the other person speaks differently to what they think? What if the other person is a flea? Can I talk to fleas? No, thats a stupid question. But the other three...

Also, what if the receiving side does not perceive all the implications or hidden meanings of what is said by the speaking side?? There are large parameters of misinterpretation. This is my point.

We lie about our feelings. We hide our true secrets. We imply certain things that we don't want to talk about openly.

Circumstances may call for such measures but I really don't see the need for everyone to be conniving or witholding. It annoys me. A LOT.

I hate the words 'oh it doesn't concern you' or 'nah, don't worry about it, I'm fine'.

If you're not gonna talk to me about it, why the fuck are you bringing it up?? And yet, I see myself say the very same thing...

We all know they're lies. We ALL know. Unless you're an idiot. Of which I am not. I hope.

Some people...you care about more than the world. But when they give you mixed messages and acts in an even more strange manner... What the hell am I supposed to think? Especially when I know that it's not alright, that something is the matter, something's wrong??

My life is so...bleurgh. There. I made a new word. Thats how you describe my life.

Losing energy, will or any sort of motivation to do anything, especially study, let alone live for that matter...

People say they live for this, to do that. What do I have? I don't know. Must the reason for our continued life be justified? Or do we live for biology's sake? Simply, to see another day, to survive and reproduce as the textbook goes. Religions, books, cults and all this other crap have come to explain the simple question: Why do we want to live?

Stick a gun to someone's head on a random day and ask them if they want to live. They will 100% guaranteed say yes. Why?

Hope?? Don't get me started. That word has been a thorn to my fucking face since day 1. Emotion and connection are two powerful words. But you may not understand their relevance here.

It's like watching a man walk through a desert. He just trudges on, placing his feet in front, one by one, another step succeeding another. You ask him why he goes on, where he's going to, he just smiles and keeps walking. How do you know whats beyond the hill? What is behind that mountain ahead? All he does is walk on. Step after step after step in the stinking sand... No companion, just him slowly walking up the pathway to where? Every step takes energy and he is finite. There will be a point where he will stop. When will that be?

So many questions. Not one answer. My heart already has too many cracks running through. I don't want to make more now...Just not this time. Not with this one. This one's a bit more special than the others. Just for once, I pray. To whatever God there is out there. This is the extent I have gone to. Down on my knees. I pray.

In short, I have an eye infection on top of a cold which has lasted 2 weeks and now I'm depressed. Given up losing weight (less food = feeling colder when I go outside...I don't know why either), can't go to the gym because cold will get worse. Can't study properly and have to rely on pussy medical cert's.

Cheeseburger + microwave oven at 2am = GREATNESS

Curiosity

2008-08-13T00:16:00.000-07:00

I remember...

I remember the story of Pandora's box. Curiosity killed the cat. The overall theme of the thing.

All the nasty stuff inside such as hate, gluttony, etc etc [insert stuff from the 7 basic sins or something similar] were released into the world, simply because Pandora became too curious. No I don't remember this from the year 9 book we were taught to remember and recite from. I remember it from a stargate episode.

However, the main thing, a little runty thing called hope remained inside. It's a story about how hope always remains so we can turn the tables on our bad fortune, or that good things are around the corner so perseverance is called for.

When a guy really likes a girl...But then has to forgo the opportunity to court her, or is rejected, he carries with him a small scar. If confronted, every single man in this world will deny it, or admit that it's so small, its negligible. The truth however, is that this scar runs deep, and reaches inside to the core of a guy's heart. And there, at times, will shock the nerves of his heart. There are different triggers but there will always exist at least one trigger for every girl the guy's ever had the misfortune of having his heart broken by. A particular shade of colour, a certain scent passing swifter than Roger Bannister... A gripping sensation that brings back a torrent of snapshots...Each snapshot of time seceding to another and another... For a while, he is lost.

But what if a long time friend is the subject? He is seen as selfish as he is usurping the relationship he and she have built with each other, wanting to potentially risk something she does not want to throw away. Yet his feelings are undeniable. Every day he seeks advice from those around, whispering here, digging information there. As each brick of knowledge is placed, he learns of the circumstances, the number of people involved, the complexity of the situation whirls around like a maelstrom threatening to engulf everything in that swirling mass...

Words, words, words. Friendship. Relationship. Commitment. Boundary. Loyalty. Simple words. Words in the dictionary. Like chain manacles biting into his wrists.

Curiosity. Oh how it kills. Wanting. How it hurts.

His invincibility days are gone. Humility and cowardice have set in.

The crossroad approaches but he does not know if there is a choice. There may not be one, but simply a path leading to failure.

Every time a decision is made, the pestering word hope creeps in, worming a hole into his heart, setting up residence until evicted. Painfully. A viscious cycle of ejection and re-entry.

Hope. I hate that word. And I hate that story. I prefer the pomegranate seed one.

The Answer

2008-08-02T00:53:00.000-07:00

We all look for it.

Not that many find it.

For me, I realised there is no definite yes or no answer.

Just a haze of if's and maybe's.

How annoying.

The choice has been made.

The complexity is now even worse.

Fucking hell.

Son of a mother freaking goddamn it....

I don't like confusion.

Feelings

2008-07-10T01:29:00.000-07:00

When you're torn between two people...What the hell do you do??

The word commitment keeps pestering me.

Why can't this world be a hell of a lot simpler???

GRRRRAAAARRRWWWRRR

Indestructible - Disturbed No.4!!!

2008-06-19T02:59:00.001-07:00

ZOMG

Sooooo goood...

Cover songs Indestructible/Inside the Fire/Perfect Insanity are just given greats.

But the real underdog is "Criminal" which is omfg so good to your ears.

Haven't heard enough of every song to determine whether they're good but man.... Criminal just hit me there and then...

Go buy or download!!! It's a must!!

Indestructible - Disturbed No.4!!!

2008-06-19T02:59:00.000-07:00

Rest

2008-05-20T05:15:00.000-07:00

Let me sleep goddamn it....

Something out of the ordinary

2008-04-28T03:34:00.000-07:00

I saw someone die today :D

Isn't my life great? Thank goodness it wasn't anybody I knew but still...

Some old lady got hit by a car and I walked near the blood-spattered road.

I feel so psychotic right now I nearly strangled my friend :) aren't I nice??

We're all so fragile...Let me prove it. Come on~

I NEED WoW

Today

2008-04-15T06:39:00.001-07:00

"God only knows our places out there
But I love this life that I'm living in
I won't look back to regret yesterday
'Cos when I'm handed tomorrow so I'll live for today"

How many people believe this??

Sometimes, when we look back on our lives, it seems as if everything has just clicked into place, and even unfortunate events or strange occurences somehow fit like a big jigsaw.

Every choice we have ever made, every little event that lead on to the next chapter...

My friend had just told me he and his family once went to Saipan for a holiday and at the airport just about to go to Saipan, they had changed their mind to Saipan from Guam, which was their original destination. That exact plane that went to Guam crash landed in a mountain killing 126 people.

Certain weird decisions, impulses and bad series of events may not be so bad after all in the long run if we look at it in perspective. As the good old saying goes "Only time will tell" may refer to the religious sense, in that God orchestrates everything and that we should simply live out our lives without regret or anything that makes us afraid to wake up the next morning.

Just mull over that a little bit as we all slip into quiet nostalgia...

Stillness

2008-03-22T06:33:00.000-07:00

Is this all you have??

Is this all you can do?

You went to all this trouble to concoct up this...this undescribable trash?

You complain as if you have all this wrong done to you, but when you step up to the plate, you avoid it like the plague??

This world does not cater for the lazy.

This world does not care about you.

You expect the world to just give up all its hard earned treasure because of what? Because of your presence?

Your arrogance amuses me.

Your total lack of understanding makes me believe that you are not a human being.

And yet you still think you are something important in this place?

Let me tell you something once and for all.

This world does not care.

It will still go round without you.

You are nothing.

You will be forgotten in less than a week.

What have you done for the world to make it remember your name? Let alone your existence?

Take a look around you.

What difference do you make?

Your undignified and pathetic being may find it slightly difficult to comprehend the true answer to the question.

However, you must endeavour to understand at least a part of its meaning.

The answer is

NOTHING

Study again

2008-02-26T23:03:00.000-08:00

The time is nigh folks, assessments, assignments, tests, lectures...

Walking to and fro from school in your most comfortable, not stylish clothes...

Running to the lecture theatre because you slept in, regretting that last drink you had last night or playing that last game of DotA...

Annoyed that the lecturer went 2 minutes over the usual time...

Hungry 24/7 even when you've just stood up from dinner...

When you have no time to check the mirror to see how bloodshot your eyes are...

Hello again.

Song play list

2008-02-13T00:55:00.000-08:00

RULES:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Outta Control - 50 cent
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Real Things - Javine
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Brown City - Brown Eyes
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Crash - Papa Roach
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
To be that kind of person - Brown Eyed Soul (korean song, loosely translated)
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Get low - Lil' Jon and The Eastside Boys
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Killing in the Name Of - Rage Against the Machine
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
In Fate's Hands - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTIE?
Me & You - Cassie
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Stickwitu - The Pussycat Dolls
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Justify - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Number One - John Legend
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Fresh Azimiz - Bow Wow
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
White Butterfly - Brown Eyes
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Keep It Coming - Nate Dogg
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Candy Man - Christina Aguilera
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Act a Fool - Ludacris
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
What Its Like - Everlast
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
I Wanna Be - Chris Brown
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Bad Boys 2 - P.Diddy feat. Nelly

Interesting turnout...
Coincidence? Or another supreme power? Who knows....

Drumrolls please....

2008-02-12T03:33:00.000-08:00

LAPTOP WINS

1.9Ghz AMD Turion 64 Dual core CPU

Integrated 128MB NVidia graphics card

Windows Vista (gay)

160Gb Harddrive

$1499 + 59 Fly buys points :D

PS. better than any mac, cos macs are GAY

Post Auckland Trip

2008-02-04T23:56:00.000-08:00

OMFG Christchurch is crap....

Compared to the night life or lack thereof in our good old chch, Auckland is just soooo so much better in almost every aspect.

1. The chicks are HAWT. And they know how to dress!! Unlike the 씨잡겄들 we see down here...

2. It's sooo warm, I can walk around with a t shirt all night and then sweat a teensy bit in the club due to dancing. Man it is good...

3. There are no F***ing white assholes shouting out "F***ing asians!!" outside from their cars. From now on, I shall locate the nearest solid object and attempt to connect it with their face. Auckland is pretty much run by asians, and any white/black/any other skin colour racist ass who says otherwise will apparently be stabbed by the yakuza/triads and his/her entire family will also meet the same gruesome fate. Take that beeeaaahhtcccchhh~

Bad stuff:
-Mosquitoes ALL OVER THE PLACE. But that must be expected with a place so warm.
-Indians who like to rip you off. Goddamn taxi driver... Let me meet him in a dark alleyway one day...
-It smells of rubbish, cigarettes from the fuckfaces who don't think of others and just a very NASTY smell from the people there...Which probably means that most of them are not so good in character as my nose tells me.
-Water is a tad foul. But yeah, chch water is kinda up there in quality.

But all that aside, help me decide which thing to get:

1. New laptop (parents may decide against this)
2. Samsung G800
3. Samsung G600

Auckland

2008-01-27T03:44:00.000-08:00

Trip for Auckland: We have a go~

Hehe 3nights and 4 days of socialising, shopping, taking in the sights of Auckland and being good samaritans....

Now where dem ho's at?

Just a little update

2008-01-15T00:36:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd update this...

To all people who take out the pickle in their cheeseburger:

WHAT THE FUCK

Y'all are idiots.

That is all

2008

2008-01-05T21:12:00.000-08:00

The new year dawns upon us all, bathing us with its warm rays which radiate a glowing feeling straight from the heart...

Are we all keeping our new year's resolution/goals in mind?

Let us all hope and pray for the best outcomes for all aspects of our self being.

What will we be saying to ourselves this time next year? The foreboding future sure does intrigue the mind however, the one thing that rings true is the uncertainty of success. And the only way to ensure a good chance of procuring or securing it, is to put in our whole heart, effort and soul into whatever our wish is.

Time and tide waits for no man, as the old proverb goes. Which basically means that if we don't make use of the time we have in our youth right now, as of this moment, it will be snatched away, like a candle flame before a gale storm.

We, the 19/20/21 year old's are the world's leading future. Our decisions will impinge on a lot of people's lives and we will definitely affect the outcome of at least one major event.

The world is our oyster ladies and gentlemen. Lets make use of it. WISELY

2007

2007-12-27T02:16:00.000-08:00

2007 is coming to an end...in 3 days.

What have we done in that time? Good time to take a nice rest reminiscing about this year.

What has happened? How have we all changed? Have we learned anything?

Pressing questions which would take too long to post....

During the exam periods, me and my mates said, "If we took what we know right now, and went back in time to the beginning of this year, how great would it be? (not just for test results)"

If only...

Fucking ass of a year this one :p

PAIN!!!!!

2007-12-16T22:42:00.000-08:00

OWWWW!!!!

My toe!!!!

I now understand how much it hurts when you say "caught between a rock and a hard place"

My toe got crushed by the edge of a drawer and CERAMIC TILES... Damn near crushed it and i bled till my socks got soaked....
And I worked for 3 hours more in that state.

My, don't we all love work??

O.
M.
F.
G.
This hurts :(

Work

2007-12-05T01:47:00.000-08:00

Work is...different from whatever point of view we look at it from.

I can tell myself this is easy and work in a breezy sort of manner.

Or I can continuously think "omfg this is soooo so fucking boring I'm just gonna clean this quickly"

Obviously we can all see which line of thinking can create better productivity and efficiency.

But oh well. Who cares. Its just window cleaning.

Destiny or Effort?

2007-12-01T02:12:00.000-08:00

In our lives, whatever we make of it, is it due to destiny/fate or can we actually work towards an intended goal?

So, can we actually be anything we want or does some higher power (eg. God) have a specific plan for us??

Selling Your Soul

2007-11-18T01:38:00.000-08:00

Interesting little topic came up today, and I was just thinking about it...

We were talking about who the owner of mojo's soul is but apparently rueben or vinnie is the current owner of it.

Then I got asked who has the ownership of my soul. I wittily replied, "I don't have one"

The gang then asked me if the girl I liked took it and but then, fortunately went off track.

This got me thinking.

Would you sell your soul to anyone? For anything? A service/material/favour?

Or maybe to the devil so that you may have one request fulfilled?

If you could sell your soul to the devil so that after you die, you suffer in hell for who knows how long, but you can have ANYTHING fulfilled, to the letter of your request, and no one will ever know about it, what would you do? Would you consider the deal or walk away? Would you sell it for love? World peace? Money?

(Remember, if you request for something to become a martyr, it ain't gonna work because no one's going to know about the request)

Despair...

2007-11-15T15:51:00.000-08:00

Why must I feel this every day?

Why does it envelope me so?

It charges through, choking, suffocating me...

I'm losing my strength to fight it

It's like I can't do anything I want to do in my life...

And there's no way out...

Interesting thing I found...

2007-11-11T02:52:00.000-08:00

Guys & Girls - The Facts

Girl facts:
When you catch a girl glancing at you, she wants you to look back and smile
When a girl bumps into your arm while walking with you she wants you to hold her hand
When she wants a hug she will just stand there
When u break a girls heart she still feels it when you run into each other 3 years later
When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind
When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply
When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around
When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds, she is not at all fine
When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are playing games
When a girl lays her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever
When a girl says she can't live without you, she has made up her mind that you are her future
When a girl says, "I miss you," no one in this world can miss you more than that
When a girl is mean to you after a break-up she wants you back, but she's scared she'll get hurt and knowsyou're gone forever

Guy Facts:
When a guy calls you, he wants to be with you
When a guy is quiet, He's listening to you...
When a guy is not arguing, He realizes he's wrong
When a guy says, "I'm fine." after a few minutes he means it
When a guy stares at you, he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do
When your laying your head on a guy's chest, he has the world
When a guy calls/texts/comments you everyday, he is in love
When a (good) guy tells you he loves you, he means it
When a guy says he can't live without you, he's with you til your done
When a guy says, "I miss you," he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else

My Dream

2007-11-11T00:21:00.000-08:00

My dream since I was a little boy of 12...

NOW DASHED BECAUSE SOME F***ING C*NT TOOK 3 MARKS OFF??!!!!

How dare you...

I'm appealing to the department, I'm going to fight because I know I did better.

Fags.... They will learn not to mess with me...

After all I've hoped for, after all I've dreamed of? This is the end result??

They'll be regretting taking that 3 marks.

Ah...Unicol life

2007-11-08T02:02:00.000-08:00

Unicol life....How I miss you :(

Man, being at home isn't so good, the people that I've bonded so much with are all spread out...mainly in Korea!!

Not good, since I'm broke after my new shoes!! (refer to bebo for pictures)

Just saw a good friend of mine off tonight, and it's the last time I'll see her before next year...

Oh well, I guess this is what the real world is like.

Seeing as my glorified vision of having nothing to study was smashed a few days ago, I need a project, something to work one for the next...3 months??!!

Oh noes...

Another year down, another year older...So depressing, I'm 18 going on 19 already!! :(

I guess we're all destined to split up into our jobs and careers and we won't have much time to ourselves or our friends anymore. How would I go about preventing that?? Hmm... *strokes chin*

Anyways~ I think I'll go sleep my holiday away, seeing as I have nada to do....

Boredom...

2007-11-06T03:14:00.000-08:00

Boredom is....Not what I had expected. Not only do I have ABSOLUTELY nothing to do, all my hopes and fantasies of having a relaxing holiday have been shattered.

1. My parents wake me up before 12. NOT GOOD.

2. All games at my house are boring. Not even WoW or Ace combat or Pokemon. This is a serious issue.

3. Everyone else is BUSY!!

WTF people... This is not what I had envisioned! My daydreams while studying for stupid epidemiology are now sundered into a thousand pieces, and liquified then sprayed at me for good measure!!

Not cool.

I've realised now, that having a full on day, is actually quite enjoyable...Because even though it's full on, we can always squeeze in a few minutes of rest/relaxation/whatever. Now, there's so much time, but nothing to do....And no pool table!! Grrrr.....

Let us hope that having to work will take some of that annoyingly large amount of time in a day away...

Plus my basketball's gone missing :(

Things are not going well...

Finished, finito, 끝, whatever you want to call it

2007-10-28T01:26:00.000-07:00

I am done~~~~!!!!!

Yeah, I didn't get to party but oh well, ended up rapping to a few songs by eminem at the karaoke bar..

Haha, yeah, I guess Uni does change a few people...I know I've changed a lot, but not sure if it's all for good or not but who cares!!!!

HEALTH SCI IS OVER!!!!!!!

Ah you poor poor people who still have exams tsk tsk...hehe

D - 0.5

2007-10-24T18:45:00.000-07:00

Woot!!!!

Only 20.5 hours until health science is OVER!!!!

Partying, clubs, drinking (maybe), ain't gonna sleep tomoro :p

Boo yah!!! Bye bye~ 2007!!

Nice MV

2007-10-22T05:48:00.000-07:00

Came across this while surfing youtube...Not half bad.

Check it out. Don't know how to make it play on my blog so just follow the link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsNw0Bk_oLk

One down..

2007-10-19T22:37:00.001-07:00

One exam down, not too bad, but not exactly confident either, pretty sure I got a B, so I

DO NOT CARE

Only 2 to go...

Biochem is going to be a bitch but Epi...Oh that epi...

Gun. Give. Now. Loaded!!

Cracks

2007-10-15T07:17:00.000-07:00

Cracks, run through everything in our lives.

Unseen, they lie dormant until one day, with enough stress they fall away...

My heart is rend by the hastily done stitching... Sudden rips open up, crumbling away, like a sand dune in the wind...

I thought I could help others with their mending. I thought mine had already mended.

2 steps forward, 3 steps backward...

When will the dice roll favour my wants?

When will it become whole again?

EARTHQUAKE!!!

2007-10-15T05:55:00.000-07:00

As the title indicates, EARTHQUAKE!!!!

ZOMFG ITS AN EARTHQUAKE!!!!

I was like, wtf, why am I getting a rocking feeling like I'm in a shi- EARTHQUAKE!!!!

But man, oh man are they fun :D

Doorway

2007-10-11T06:15:00.000-07:00

Every doorway represents some new path.

And every doorway I force open is blocked.

I can even make them block themself by looking at them.

It is amazing how they stack those bricks so fast...

And every time its in the same pattern...

Show me a doorway which can stay open...

Show me a doorway that I can open up...

For it cannot be forced, only allowed to let pass...

Show me an open doorway...

Maze

2007-10-10T03:55:00.000-07:00

I think I live in a big big maze...

Since every road I take seems to be blocked or misleading in some way.

Each time that I think is a new and exciting road, it always ends up at a dead end...

I have no hammer to go through the walls.

I have no wings to fly over the walls...

How long am I supposed to wander these hollow paths?

Only time will tell...

ARRRGGHHH!!!! interview!!!

2007-10-05T21:27:00.001-07:00

Offer for interview came out!!
One side of me is loving it but...the other side is going FUCKING NUTS...

So worried :( I've got reasonable answers but...Its going to be the most agonizing 20minutes of my life...

Wish me luck!!

Exhaustion

2007-10-03T01:41:00.000-07:00

Wake up at 7:10am.
Go down for breakfast for 10min, come up, wash up, head to lecture by 7:45am.
Sit in lecture theatre for 2 hours absorbing info like a sponge taking notes so fast my hand aches by the end.
Get home by 10:05am at the latest.
Get dressed for gym and leave house by 10:15am
Arrive at gym at 10:20am and work out with weights until 11:00am
Hire out a basketball and practise.
Finish gym by noon.
Arrive home by 12:15pm and have a shower for no more than 15min max.
Go down for lunch at 12:30pm
Finish lunch by 1:30pm
Go upstairs and do pre-reading, note copying until 2pm
Take 3 hour nap til 5pm.
Go down for dinner at 5pm.
Finish by 6pm or 5:30pm
Depending on what day it is, go to labs at 6pm or in-hall tutorials at 7pm.
Study notes until 12am.
Check Blackboard for new stuff and socialise a bit and also mix in some more studying until 4am.
Go to bed at 4am.

Rinse and repeat.
I am going to die.

Test prep...

2007-09-26T06:25:00.001-07:00

Yikes, another test upcoming this saturday...

Only worth 5% of your marks you say? I only realised the value of just one percent 3 times last semester...

The difference between a B and B+, B- and a B, and A+ and an A....

Still haven't started yet :p I really should...

Hell I got better things to do than writing this blog.

I've only lately realised how precious time is and how fast it goes after thinking about it during studying...The time writing this blog can never be "refunded" so to speak. It only passes and thats that. No buts, no excuses, it's gone.

And I think of what I've done in the past, how I've spent my time during my short, 18 and a half years of life...and there isn't really much.

The thought of this world not being able to be changed because I am only a single person in the myriad of billions, the ability to change just another person's life/time is a great power.

Think of how in a moment of need, someone helped you out. In a moment of desperate need, that someone was there. This past even may have worked out dandy and we just use it as a fun story to tell at a party or other gathering...

But if that person was not there for help...what would have happened? The amount of distress with that thought...is slightly troubling. Especially if someone close, a friend, family's life was at risk. Had this person not been there, our lives would have been that much worse, that much more harder to bear...

I believe we all live to change somebody's bad situation for a good thing one day, somewhere... Imagine how grateful that person would feel, for the existence of ourself...it's a nice thought.

That somewhere, out there, is a person, that lives just to complement me....wow.

Now thats a good feeling :D

Korean Ball Photos

2007-09-22T07:01:00.000-07:00

Updated to my Bebo, check it out!!

Haha not that many of me, seeing as I was taking the photos, and my friend used my 3G (the lens that is good for self camera shots) funcion to take INSANE amounts of photos of herself...

:p bleh

Korean Ball

2007-09-21T09:02:00.000-07:00

Just came back from Korean ball and man it was fun!!

I know I can't dance for shit but who cares?? Its the jumping up and down stupidly flailing your arms that counts!!

Lol TONS of photos coming soon!!

Hehe I think I took over 50 photos on my phone...And numerous others on other people's camera's :p

P.S. champagne sucks ass

UMAT UMAT UMAT!!!!!

2007-09-20T07:42:00.000-07:00

Got my UMAT scores today...

53% percentile overall with an average mark of 50 raw score.

the funny thing is that so many ppl got around my mark so that a few more correct answers would send my percentile skyrocketing...So stupid. So I think they'll count the raw score this year, seeing as its kinda hard to determine who's better.

But anyways, I think this pretty much tells me that I'm quite suited for the job of a dental health professional :p

Lets hope I do well in the interview :(

Tales of the past...

2007-09-17T06:16:00.000-07:00

Wow, watched this awesome movie on www.warcraftmovies.com

IT is INSANELY well made...

The storyline and the scripts aren't half bad but the fact that they made it on a PvP server with the amount of coordination they needed...WOW.

Go check it out guys at http://www.warcraftmovies.com/movieview.php?id=9641 for episode 1 and episode 2 is http://www.warcraftmovies.com/movieview.php?id=22608

There's a 3rd one in the making so I'm excited :D

Oh and Bleach is really heating up!! soooo cool

crashing sound

2007-09-16T01:48:00.000-07:00

Weeeeee~~~~ BOOM!!

anyways, here's something i made up

Some people think I'm nuts
Some people think I'm smart
Some people think I'm stupid
But some just think I'm a tart.

I don't really care what you think of me, but you stand there, thinking you're so high up and mighty, with your little supporters out there.

Perhaps I just wasn't made to get along with some people but oh wells

This world is full of people we don't like. Get used to it, because there's a whole lot more people than just ME

Formal Dinners

2007-09-16T01:24:00.000-07:00

Ah, the momentous occasion of a formal dinner...

The sights, the sounds and smells of slightly above average food...mmm.

The tantalizing sights of girls in dresses that just make you say "GODDAMN SHE IS FINE", the smells of a great dinner awaiting to enter your belly in the worlds favourite ritual...

Also coming along in this package is the finely dressed young gentlemen, trying their very best to get out of the stupid dining room to catch the Warriors game by any means possible....Thank goodness its not compulsory :p

The thing I'm trying to get here people, is that these are designed to be a fun time?? I think...

But it doesn't always work out. And the fact that there are a surprisingly large number of people doing arts degrees.

Anyway, the salmon had the bones still in it so yeah, not so cool but meh. Enjoyable than your average freaking roast sunday dinner :p

Transformers

2007-09-14T09:29:00.000-07:00

Transformers...

The movie which I have now watched 3 times - twice in the movie theatres and once tonight, by my friend's downloaded version...

It is still FAWKING AWESOME.

So go now, you juveniles, and experience the grand tale, that is the transformers movie, directed by Michael Bay.

Lol funny thing to note, is that when scorponok jumps out of the sand chasing Tyrese, when filming, the director told him "Tyrese, those are real explosives. DO NOT TRIP OVER."

So the fear on his face is real...

Same with where Sam stands on the statue before Megatron destroys the shit out of the building (standing 14 floors up), he had NO safety gear. It took the director 15minutes of convincing him to stand there to film it.

Funny stuff...

Change

2007-09-13T06:13:00.000-07:00

Change - we all need it.
Sometimes we want it. And sometimes we don't. It's as simple as that.

However, there is one thing you cannot ignore.

ITS GOING TO FUCKING HAPPEN.

We all live on Earth, the 3rd lump o' rock from our sun.
And guess what people, our lives are GOING to change whether you like it or not.

Systems will change, people will change, technology, design, the sciences, art, EVERYTHING in this world is undergoing change.

If you do not follow with this change and "go with the flow" so to speak, you will be left behind.

And yet, some people will still cling on to their glory days, the days of youth, the old systems that they are used to.

Well big shock you asses, it ain't gonna stay that way whether you like it or not.

This race of mankind is destined to die at some point in time and there's nothing you can do about it.

Lets take an example.
The US of A, the world's current superpower used to be rivalled by the biggest country in the world, Russia, or as formerly known, the Soviet union.
That worked out dandy now didn't it?

With the collapse of the Soviet union, dissident factions such as the Chinese, random-arsed terrorist groups now have a wealth that will suck the colour from your face.
These factions have so much power that they technically have the license to kill without being interrupted by another superpower because that will initiate some sort of conflict which may escalate due to the idiots that tend to get in the top positions. Now, with the turn-around of the century being China and India developing every single aspect of their economic infrastructure, the Americans are beginning to feel the panic.

We are living in changing times and who knows who the next rival will be?

/rant start

Yet my parents still think grades are everything in modern day society. They have not learned that the general populace HATE try-hard asians getting into medicine/dentistry and then not being able to function well because they SUCK at communicating. They hate their jobs because they try so hard at it but fail miserably. Those worthless people put innocent lives at stake and do not deserve the high position that they so "rightfully earned".

/rant over

Some people in this world need to accept change... Or you WILL be left behind.
*activate avenging wrath*
RAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!!!

Move on with the times you stupid people!! Do not cling to your ideals and embrace the new world which is where you reside now!!

That goes for every damn lot of you who try and maintain their beliefs which are OUT OF DATE.

Change with the world. Or die

Yarrr Ace combat pics

2007-09-13T05:36:00.001-07:00

ZOMG check out tha cool Gripen!!! (the silver ones)

And the ultimate Su-37 Terminator!! (Not in mass production due to Russia being a tightass)

I have a blogzors!!

2007-09-13T05:25:00.000-07:00

Haha I have joined the mindless millions of people online with a stupid stupid blog...

I guess my main is Bebo? but the blogging capabilities of that are very limited :p

I shall update this thingy as soon as I figure out how to use it properly

Gripen Cockpit

DPA

Realisation

Update

Indie Rock

Holidays

Papercut

10점 만점에 10점

Misinterpretation

Curiosity

The Answer

Feelings

Indestructible - Disturbed No.4!!!

Indestructible - Disturbed No.4!!!

Rest

Something out of the ordinary

Today

Stillness

Study again

Song play list

Drumrolls please....

Post Auckland Trip

Auckland

Just a little update

2008

2007

PAIN!!!!!

Work

Destiny or Effort?

Selling Your Soul

Despair...

Interesting thing I found...

My Dream

Ah...Unicol life

Boredom...

Finished, finito, 끝, whatever you want to call it

D - 0.5

Nice MV

One down..

Cracks

EARTHQUAKE!!!

Doorway

Maze

ARRRGGHHH!!!! interview!!!

Exhaustion

Test prep...

Korean Ball Photos

Korean Ball

UMAT UMAT UMAT!!!!!

Tales of the past...

*crashing sound*

Formal Dinners

Transformers

Change

Yarrr Ace combat pics

I have a blogzors!!

crashing sound