Friday, October 3, 2008

10점 만점에 10점

그녀의 입술은 맛있어, 입술은 맛있어,
10점 만점에 10점~
그녀의 다리는 멌져, 다리는 멌져,
10점 만점에 10점~
그녀의 날리는 머릿결, 날리는 머릿결,
10점 만점에 10점~
그녀는 머리에서 발끝까지 모두다,
10점 만점에 10점!!

and thus the song goes.

I've been used and lied to. Betrayed? Nearly but not quite.
Fallen for something that only seeks to gain things and not return the favour...

But I am not hurt. There's a limit to how much a man's heart can break. Sadly I've reached it.

Dunedin is a small place. There are only so many attractive guys and girls.
Lets say the reserves are dry and we're on empty tanks. What now??

I have always needed a target, even an impossible target, just...a target. Somewhere to aim. Someone to be with. Morals dictate that that person is now off-limits.

The emptiness I felt for about 1 hour has now filled with realisation. The extent of the web of lies that I am strung up upon is a LOT bigger than I thought.

And who else but someone I trusted in? Someone I've leaned against during the hard times of 2006? Someone I've learned to be comfortable with?

But it doesn't hurt, I just feel like I have to get out of here, I need a change of scenery, I need a break from all of this.

Afghani's have a saying that loosely says: "Life goes on" which pretty much means "shit happens, get over it you pussy"

I get over things by leaning on other people. And sometimes I lend a shoulder for them to lean on. One of my biggest person to lean on has completely smacked me in the face. And even now tries to hide what I already know.

Why do people do this?? Am I not trustworthy? Do I talk about other people's secrets that much? What is it that they do not trust in me??

3 comments:

andychoi said...

This "biggest person" doesn't imply one's physical form, right? >.<

Jokes aside, what did Esther do to you?

JAS 35C Gripen Pilot said...

I haven't had contact with Esther in over a year. It's not her.

And plus, I was having a hard time in 2006 because of Esther so how could I lean on her?

said...

You have many people you take for granted

like your parents, and if you cannot connect with them (I understand)
make yourself stronger. Don't try to lean on people but lean onto yourself

trust no one. Given the circumstances no one is trustworthy.

and if people want to lean on you, well consider that a bonus.