Thursday, November 27, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Like holy shit oh my freaking son of a mother fucking biatch painful!!!
It's cos signal transduction is incredibly fast, conducted by the C fibers (sharp pain) and continuously fires....Unlike chopping your arm off where the shock should decrease pain sensors firing and A-delta fibres firing (slow, dull pain)
I hate paper. It should burn
Friday, October 3, 2008
10점 만점에 10점~
그녀의 다리는 멌져, 다리는 멌져,
10점 만점에 10점~
그녀의 날리는 머릿결, 날리는 머릿결,
10점 만점에 10점~
그녀는 머리에서 발끝까지 모두다,
10점 만점에 10점!!
and thus the song goes.
I've been used and lied to. Betrayed? Nearly but not quite.
Fallen for something that only seeks to gain things and not return the favour...
But I am not hurt. There's a limit to how much a man's heart can break. Sadly I've reached it.
Dunedin is a small place. There are only so many attractive guys and girls.
Lets say the reserves are dry and we're on empty tanks. What now??
I have always needed a target, even an impossible target, just...a target. Somewhere to aim. Someone to be with. Morals dictate that that person is now off-limits.
The emptiness I felt for about 1 hour has now filled with realisation. The extent of the web of lies that I am strung up upon is a LOT bigger than I thought.
And who else but someone I trusted in? Someone I've leaned against during the hard times of 2006? Someone I've learned to be comfortable with?
But it doesn't hurt, I just feel like I have to get out of here, I need a change of scenery, I need a break from all of this.
Afghani's have a saying that loosely says: "Life goes on" which pretty much means "shit happens, get over it you pussy"
I get over things by leaning on other people. And sometimes I lend a shoulder for them to lean on. One of my biggest person to lean on has completely smacked me in the face. And even now tries to hide what I already know.
Why do people do this?? Am I not trustworthy? Do I talk about other people's secrets that much? What is it that they do not trust in me??
Saturday, September 20, 2008
However, we, the Homo sapien sapien (wise-wise-human - apparently wiser than the wise-human) have resorted to the simple act of speaking to communicate thoughts, beliefs, feelings, opinions etc.
There is an inherent problem here. What if the other person says the wrong thing? What if the other person does not convey the truth? What if the other person speaks differently to what they think? What if the other person is a flea? Can I talk to fleas? No, thats a stupid question. But the other three...
Also, what if the receiving side does not perceive all the implications or hidden meanings of what is said by the speaking side?? There are large parameters of misinterpretation. This is my point.
We lie about our feelings. We hide our true secrets. We imply certain things that we don't want to talk about openly.
Circumstances may call for such measures but I really don't see the need for everyone to be conniving or witholding. It annoys me. A LOT.
I hate the words 'oh it doesn't concern you' or 'nah, don't worry about it, I'm fine'.
If you're not gonna talk to me about it, why the fuck are you bringing it up?? And yet, I see myself say the very same thing...
We all know they're lies. We ALL know. Unless you're an idiot. Of which I am not. I hope.
Some people...you care about more than the world. But when they give you mixed messages and acts in an even more strange manner... What the hell am I supposed to think? Especially when I know that it's not alright, that something is the matter, something's wrong??
My life is so...bleurgh. There. I made a new word. Thats how you describe my life.
Losing energy, will or any sort of motivation to do anything, especially study, let alone live for that matter...
People say they live for this, to do that. What do I have? I don't know. Must the reason for our continued life be justified? Or do we live for biology's sake? Simply, to see another day, to survive and reproduce as the textbook goes. Religions, books, cults and all this other crap have come to explain the simple question: Why do we want to live?
Stick a gun to someone's head on a random day and ask them if they want to live. They will 100% guaranteed say yes. Why?
Hope?? Don't get me started. That word has been a thorn to my fucking face since day 1. Emotion and connection are two powerful words. But you may not understand their relevance here.
It's like watching a man walk through a desert. He just trudges on, placing his feet in front, one by one, another step succeeding another. You ask him why he goes on, where he's going to, he just smiles and keeps walking. How do you know whats beyond the hill? What is behind that mountain ahead? All he does is walk on. Step after step after step in the stinking sand... No companion, just him slowly walking up the pathway to where? Every step takes energy and he is finite. There will be a point where he will stop. When will that be?
So many questions. Not one answer. My heart already has too many cracks running through. I don't want to make more now...Just not this time. Not with this one. This one's a bit more special than the others. Just for once, I pray. To whatever God there is out there. This is the extent I have gone to. Down on my knees. I pray.
In short, I have an eye infection on top of a cold which has lasted 2 weeks and now I'm depressed. Given up losing weight (less food = feeling colder when I go outside...I don't know why either), can't go to the gym because cold will get worse. Can't study properly and have to rely on pussy medical cert's.
Cheeseburger + microwave oven at 2am = GREATNESS
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
I remember the story of Pandora's box. Curiosity killed the cat. The overall theme of the thing.
All the nasty stuff inside such as hate, gluttony, etc etc [insert stuff from the 7 basic sins or something similar] were released into the world, simply because Pandora became too curious. No I don't remember this from the year 9 book we were taught to remember and recite from. I remember it from a stargate episode.
However, the main thing, a little runty thing called hope remained inside. It's a story about how hope always remains so we can turn the tables on our bad fortune, or that good things are around the corner so perseverance is called for.
When a guy really likes a girl...But then has to forgo the opportunity to court her, or is rejected, he carries with him a small scar. If confronted, every single man in this world will deny it, or admit that it's so small, its negligible. The truth however, is that this scar runs deep, and reaches inside to the core of a guy's heart. And there, at times, will shock the nerves of his heart. There are different triggers but there will always exist at least one trigger for every girl the guy's ever had the misfortune of having his heart broken by. A particular shade of colour, a certain scent passing swifter than Roger Bannister... A gripping sensation that brings back a torrent of snapshots...Each snapshot of time seceding to another and another... For a while, he is lost.
But what if a long time friend is the subject? He is seen as selfish as he is usurping the relationship he and she have built with each other, wanting to potentially risk something she does not want to throw away. Yet his feelings are undeniable. Every day he seeks advice from those around, whispering here, digging information there. As each brick of knowledge is placed, he learns of the circumstances, the number of people involved, the complexity of the situation whirls around like a maelstrom threatening to engulf everything in that swirling mass...
Words, words, words. Friendship. Relationship. Commitment. Boundary. Loyalty. Simple words. Words in the dictionary. Like chain manacles biting into his wrists.
Curiosity. Oh how it kills. Wanting. How it hurts.
His invincibility days are gone. Humility and cowardice have set in.
The crossroad approaches but he does not know if there is a choice. There may not be one, but simply a path leading to failure.
Every time a decision is made, the pestering word hope creeps in, worming a hole into his heart, setting up residence until evicted. Painfully. A viscious cycle of ejection and re-entry.
Hope. I hate that word. And I hate that story. I prefer the pomegranate seed one.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Not that many find it.
For me, I realised there is no definite yes or no answer.
Just a haze of if's and maybe's.
The choice has been made.
The complexity is now even worse.
Son of a mother freaking goddamn it....
I don't like confusion.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Cover songs Indestructible/Inside the Fire/Perfect Insanity are just given greats.
But the real underdog is "Criminal" which is omfg so good to your ears.
Haven't heard enough of every song to determine whether they're good but man.... Criminal just hit me there and then...
Go buy or download!!! It's a must!!
Monday, April 28, 2008
Isn't my life great? Thank goodness it wasn't anybody I knew but still...
Some old lady got hit by a car and I walked near the blood-spattered road.
I feel so psychotic right now I nearly strangled my friend :) aren't I nice??
We're all so fragile...Let me prove it. Come on~
I NEED WoW
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
But I love this life that I'm living in
I won't look back to regret yesterday
'Cos when I'm handed tomorrow so I'll live for today"
How many people believe this??
Sometimes, when we look back on our lives, it seems as if everything has just clicked into place, and even unfortunate events or strange occurences somehow fit like a big jigsaw.
Every choice we have ever made, every little event that lead on to the next chapter...
My friend had just told me he and his family once went to Saipan for a holiday and at the airport just about to go to Saipan, they had changed their mind to Saipan from Guam, which was their original destination. That exact plane that went to Guam crash landed in a mountain killing 126 people.
Certain weird decisions, impulses and bad series of events may not be so bad after all in the long run if we look at it in perspective. As the good old saying goes "Only time will tell" may refer to the religious sense, in that God orchestrates everything and that we should simply live out our lives without regret or anything that makes us afraid to wake up the next morning.
Just mull over that a little bit as we all slip into quiet nostalgia...
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Is this all you can do?
You went to all this trouble to concoct up this...this undescribable trash?
You complain as if you have all this wrong done to you, but when you step up to the plate, you avoid it like the plague??
This world does not cater for the lazy.
This world does not care about you.
You expect the world to just give up all its hard earned treasure because of what? Because of your presence?
Your arrogance amuses me.
Your total lack of understanding makes me believe that you are not a human being.
And yet you still think you are something important in this place?
Let me tell you something once and for all.
This world does not care.
It will still go round without you.
You are nothing.
You will be forgotten in less than a week.
What have you done for the world to make it remember your name? Let alone your existence?
Take a look around you.
What difference do you make?
Your undignified and pathetic being may find it slightly difficult to comprehend the true answer to the question.
However, you must endeavour to understand at least a part of its meaning.
The answer is
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Walking to and fro from school in your most comfortable, not stylish clothes...
Running to the lecture theatre because you slept in, regretting that last drink you had last night or playing that last game of DotA...
Annoyed that the lecturer went 2 minutes over the usual time...
Hungry 24/7 even when you've just stood up from dinner...
When you have no time to check the mirror to see how bloodshot your eyes are...
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Outta Control - 50 cent
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Real Things - Javine
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Brown City - Brown Eyes
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Crash - Papa Roach
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
To be that kind of person - Brown Eyed Soul (korean song, loosely translated)
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Get low - Lil' Jon and The Eastside Boys
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Killing in the Name Of - Rage Against the Machine
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
In Fate's Hands - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTIE?
Me & You - Cassie
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Stickwitu - The Pussycat Dolls
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Justify - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Number One - John Legend
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Fresh Azimiz - Bow Wow
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
White Butterfly - Brown Eyes
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Keep It Coming - Nate Dogg
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Candy Man - Christina Aguilera
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Act a Fool - Ludacris
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
What Its Like - Everlast
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
I Wanna Be - Chris Brown
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Bad Boys 2 - P.Diddy feat. Nelly
Coincidence? Or another supreme power? Who knows....
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Monday, February 4, 2008
Compared to the night life or lack thereof in our good old chch, Auckland is just soooo so much better in almost every aspect.
1. The chicks are HAWT. And they know how to dress!! Unlike the 씨잡겄들 we see down here...
2. It's sooo warm, I can walk around with a t shirt all night and then sweat a teensy bit in the club due to dancing. Man it is good...
3. There are no F***ing white assholes shouting out "F***ing asians!!" outside from their cars. From now on, I shall locate the nearest solid object and attempt to connect it with their face. Auckland is pretty much run by asians, and any white/black/any other skin colour racist ass who says otherwise will apparently be stabbed by the yakuza/triads and his/her entire family will also meet the same gruesome fate. Take that beeeaaahhtcccchhh~
-Mosquitoes ALL OVER THE PLACE. But that must be expected with a place so warm.
-Indians who like to rip you off. Goddamn taxi driver... Let me meet him in a dark alleyway one day...
-It smells of rubbish, cigarettes from the fuckfaces who don't think of others and just a very NASTY smell from the people there...Which probably means that most of them are not so good in character as my nose tells me.
-Water is a tad foul. But yeah, chch water is kinda up there in quality.
But all that aside, help me decide which thing to get:
1. New laptop (parents may decide against this)
2. Samsung G800
3. Samsung G600
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Are we all keeping our new year's resolution/goals in mind?
Let us all hope and pray for the best outcomes for all aspects of our self being.
What will we be saying to ourselves this time next year? The foreboding future sure does intrigue the mind however, the one thing that rings true is the uncertainty of success. And the only way to ensure a good chance of procuring or securing it, is to put in our whole heart, effort and soul into whatever our wish is.
Time and tide waits for no man, as the old proverb goes. Which basically means that if we don't make use of the time we have in our youth right now, as of this moment, it will be snatched away, like a candle flame before a gale storm.
We, the 19/20/21 year old's are the world's leading future. Our decisions will impinge on a lot of people's lives and we will definitely affect the outcome of at least one major event.
The world is our oyster ladies and gentlemen. Lets make use of it. WISELY