Saturday, June 6, 2009


I have realised how...fruitless life is.
Ofc, this is all a matter of perspective, I can pick out all the good stuff and go haha, that was worth it, or maybe life isn't too bad after all.

The bad stuff is...unquestionably real and presents itself right there in front of me. Can't be ignored at all. Fag.

Good thing: I have a lot of friends on which I can depend on and support me during not-so-good times.

Bad thing: The one person I'd like to be close to says "we've been friends too long and I don't wan2 risk it"

FFS this is the 3rd time hearing that and tbh I'm sick of it. Sigh...

But this time, its a bit different. Additional information suggested that everything is a lie with her...
Everything last year was a complete and utter lie, straight in my face, looking into my eyes.

Not many ppl know, but lying to me is something I cannot accept. People know I can tolerate a lot until a CERTAIN FUCKING point, and when reached, I will hate you for the rest of my life. Notice the FULLSTOP. Lying takes you straight to jail so to speak.

4 months of lies lies and more lies. False pretences, facades and flattery struck deep into my heart.

The problem is...because I like her...I cannot hate her...The hatred I have held for the people that just plainly pissed me off during my life...It's gone.

James Cho...Jeff Ma...They're not important anymore.

She was everything, the focal point and...she lied to me. All that time.

Treating her how she treated that a good thing?? She now wants her friend back, and is asking why I hate her. I do not hate her...but wants her friend back?
The friend who always asked and got denied. The one who always texted first and got no reply.

I only play the fool once


castalnetta said...

its time to.. move on, maybe?


do not make a 'somebody' your focal point in life. Ever.

andychoi said...

I agree. Live for yourself, your family.

If it makes you feel any better, I STILL haven't heard shit from youknowwho. 6 years brah. Any thoughts of youknowwho is safely isolated somewhere in my head.